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Onderwerp: Jokes
Doesnt work :(
I've read it and
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I've read it and
Announcements:
You received 1 000 000 $. 2010-08-21 12:43:03
Account balance: 1 000 001 $
You received a fine or transfer price adjustment from an administrator.
The club had additional expenses of -1 000 000 €.
JOKE OF THE YEAR RELEASED AT EDINBURGH FESTIVAL!
Tim Vine: I went on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday, never again
xD
Tim Vine: I went on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday, never again
xD
nr 1 joke:
there was this guy who was really in love with his girl friend wendy, so he decided to tattoo her name on her penis. when the penis was erect it said wendy, when it wasnt erect it only spelled the letters W and Y. so after this guy and his girlfriend got married they went on thier honeymoon to jamaica. so one day in a restaurant the guy went to the bathroom and saw a black guy peeing next to him and on his penis he saw the letters W and Y. so he asked " hey, do you also have a girlfriend named wendy?, and the black guy said " no, my tattoo says, welcome to jamaica, have a nice day"
there was this guy who was really in love with his girl friend wendy, so he decided to tattoo her name on her penis. when the penis was erect it said wendy, when it wasnt erect it only spelled the letters W and Y. so after this guy and his girlfriend got married they went on thier honeymoon to jamaica. so one day in a restaurant the guy went to the bathroom and saw a black guy peeing next to him and on his penis he saw the letters W and Y. so he asked " hey, do you also have a girlfriend named wendy?, and the black guy said " no, my tattoo says, welcome to jamaica, have a nice day"
Exam. Trembling students waiting outside to go from one room to say how the exam goes. Finally comes an all round him
- Colleague how did it go?
- What a solemn and divine
-???
-I with costume, professor with costume. He asks me I pray, I answer - it is pray ...
- Colleague how did it go?
- What a solemn and divine
-???
-I with costume, professor with costume. He asks me I pray, I answer - it is pray ...
Nothing turns me on more than knee high socks, which makes match day awkward :)
I liked it.. :D A shame nobody understands it and the language is kinda vulgar so I think it's better I delete it. :)
The top 10 Edinburgh Fringe's funnies this year:
1) Tim Vine "I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never again."
2) David Gibson "I'm currently dating a couple of anorexics. Two birds, one stone."
3) Emo Philips "I picked up a hitch hiker. You've got to when you hit them."
4) Jack Whitehall "I bought one of those anti-bullying wristbands when they first came out. I say 'bought', I actually stole it off a short, fat ginger kid."
5) Gary Delaney "As a kid I was made to walk the plank. We couldn't afford a dog."
6) John Bishop "Being an England supporter is like being the over-optimistic parents of the fat kid on sports day."
7) Bo Burnham "What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? Names."
8) Gary Delaney "Dave drowned. So at the funeral we got him a wreath in the shape of a lifebelt. Well, it's what he would have wanted."
9) Robert White "For Vanessa Feltz, life is like a box of chocolates: Empty."
10) Gareth Richards "Wooden spoons are great. You can either use them to prepare food. Or, if you can't be bothered with that, just write a number on one and walk into a pub…"
1) Tim Vine "I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never again."
2) David Gibson "I'm currently dating a couple of anorexics. Two birds, one stone."
3) Emo Philips "I picked up a hitch hiker. You've got to when you hit them."
4) Jack Whitehall "I bought one of those anti-bullying wristbands when they first came out. I say 'bought', I actually stole it off a short, fat ginger kid."
5) Gary Delaney "As a kid I was made to walk the plank. We couldn't afford a dog."
6) John Bishop "Being an England supporter is like being the over-optimistic parents of the fat kid on sports day."
7) Bo Burnham "What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? Names."
8) Gary Delaney "Dave drowned. So at the funeral we got him a wreath in the shape of a lifebelt. Well, it's what he would have wanted."
9) Robert White "For Vanessa Feltz, life is like a box of chocolates: Empty."
10) Gareth Richards "Wooden spoons are great. You can either use them to prepare food. Or, if you can't be bothered with that, just write a number on one and walk into a pub…"
Exam. Trembling students waiting outside to go from one room to say how the exam goes. Finally comes an all round him
- Colleague how did it go?
- What a solemn and divine
-???
-I with costume, professor with costume. He asks me I pray, I answer - it is pray ...
actually, it was something like:
3 students in front of class, waiting for exam... the best prepared student enters, then exits, others ask him: how it was? as a talking between professor and student.
same for 2nd student.
then 3rd one, enters, exits, other ask him how it was, he said: as a talking between priest and priest: he was asking me something, I was crossing... I was answering, he was crossing...
:))
(gewijzigd)
- Colleague how did it go?
- What a solemn and divine
-???
-I with costume, professor with costume. He asks me I pray, I answer - it is pray ...
actually, it was something like:
3 students in front of class, waiting for exam... the best prepared student enters, then exits, others ask him: how it was? as a talking between professor and student.
same for 2nd student.
then 3rd one, enters, exits, other ask him how it was, he said: as a talking between priest and priest: he was asking me something, I was crossing... I was answering, he was crossing...
:))
(gewijzigd)