Onderwerp: Jokes

A family is at the dinner table.
The son asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?"
The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman's boobs are like melons, round and firm.
In her 30s to 40s , they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit.
After 50, the...y are like onions".
"Onions?"
"Yes, you see them and they make you cry."
This infuriated his wife and daughter, so the daughter said, "Mom, how many kinds of 'willies' are there?"
The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well dear, a man goes through three phases also.
In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard.
In his 30s and 40s, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable.
After his 50s, it is like a Christmas tree".
"A Christmas tree?"
"Yes --- dead from the root up --- and the balls are just for decoration."

Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf bowed, sweating and with his eyes bulging
LRRH: "what big eyes you have"
Wolf: "try yourself to defecate your grandmother!!"

bloody awesome =))

Panties on a plane

Three large black ladies were getting ready to take a plane trip for the very first time.

The first lady said, 'I don't know bout y'all , but I'm gunna put me on sum
...hot pink panties beefo' I get on dat plane.'

'Why you gonna wear dem fo?' the other two asked..

The first replied, 'Cause, if dat plane goes down and I'm out dare
laying butt-up in a conefield, dey gonna find me first.'

The second lady said, 'Well, I'm a-gonna wear me some floeesant orange
panties.'

'Why you gonna wear dem?' the others asked?

The second lady answered, 'Cause if dis hare plane is goin' down and I be floating butt-up in the oshun, dey can see me first.

The third lady says, 'Well, I'm not gonna wear any panties.........

'What? No panties?' the others asked in disbelief.

The third lady says, 'Dat's right girlfriends, you hears me right. I
ain't wearing any panties cos, honey, dey always look for da Black Box first'.

You could have left out a lot of that story.

From:
Three large black ladies were getting ready to take a plane trip for the very first time.

I knew the joke was about a black box. Captain Obvious was way ahead of you. ;)

-Do you speak english?
*Yes!
-Name?
*Abdul al-Rhazib.
-Sex?
*Three to five times a week.
-No, no...I mean male or female?
*Yes, male, female, sometimes camel.
-Holy cow!
*Yes, cow, sheep, animals in general.
-But isn't that hostile?
*Horse style, doggy style, any style!
-Oh dear!
*No, no! Deer run too fast...


Old one but still good :D

don't really understand about the arab name, but that's probably just me..

the point is that he's arab...I don't think there is something unusual in name?

Two friends,
Tonight I am going to organize a group sex session in my apartment. Do you want to come?
Of course! How many people are coming?
Three, if you bring your girlfriend.

well, i don't understand why the name part had to be in there ;)

it had just because MacLanghe don't run fast enough nor for the camel neither for the sheep

I have a new pick up line that works every time. It doesn't matter how gorgeous or out of my league a woman might be, this line is a winner & I always end up in bed with them. Here's how it goes: 'Excuse me love, could I ask your opinion? Does this damp cloth smell like chloroform to you?'
................................................................

A fat girl served me food in McDonald's at lunch time, she said, sorry about the wait, I said 'don't worry fatty, you're bound to lose it eventually.'
..............................................................

I took my Biology exam last Friday. I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells. Apparently "Blacks" and "Mexicans" were not the correct answers.

3 nice ones :)
I really like the kind of jokes with 'Apparently X and y were not the answer' :) Short, easy to understand and always a great laugh.

'easy to understand' is the key for a good joke for you.

:ppp

nice one! Short and easy to understand as well ;)