Onderwerp: Jokes

ROFL at the Bugatti one

Randy s joke

spin FTW... xD

Coach Bobby Ross had put together the perfect Lions team. The only thing he was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges, and even the high schools, but he couldn't find a ringer quarterback who could ensure a Super Bowl win.

Then one night, while watching CNN, he saw a war-zone scene in Bosnia. In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Bosnian soldier with a truly incredible arm.

He threw a hand grenade straight into a 15th-story window 200 yards away...

Ka-boom!

He throws another hand grenade into a group of 10 soldiers 100 yards away...

Ka-blooey!

Then a car passed, going 90 mph...

BAM! Bulls-eye!

"I've got to get me this guy!" Ross says to himself. "He's got the perfect arm!"

So, without much cajoling he manages to bring the kid to the States, aways from the dangers of Bosnia and teaches him the great game of football.

That season the Lions go on to win the Super Bowl for the first time in history and the young, modest Bosnian becomes one of the Great Heroes of football. When Ross asks him what he wants, all the young man wants to do is to call his mother.

"Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl."

"I spit on your superbowl, I don't want to talk to you," the old woman says. "You deserted us. You are not my son."

"...But Mamma!" the young man pleads. "I just won the greatest sporting event in the world. Thousands of people are calling my name, our family name..."

"No, let me tell you," the mother screams. "At this very moment, there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and this week your sister was raped in broad daylight."

The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says "...I'll never forgive you for making us move to Detroit."

A policeman stops a car (in italy):
-Guy, you were driving to fast, now I'm gonna fine you for this.
-No!!! please!! I won't do it anymore!! My wife got injured just few minutes ago, and I need to rush home!! please, let me go!!
the policeman thinks about it... then says:
-ok, I love riddles, so I won't fine you if you can solve this one: "you're on a dark road, and see two lights. what's that?"
the man- well... it's a car!
-you're not precise, it'd be a BMW, a Toyota... I will fine you.
-no please!!!!!
-ok... another one. "you're on a dark road and see a light, what's that?
-I'd say it's a Yamaha!!
-no! you're wrong!! it was a Mitsubishi!!! ahahah!! I fine you then. :D
The man, just before leaving:-Sorry policeman, since you like riddles, I have one for you! You're on a dark road, and see a girl on the side of the street. What's that?
-it's a prostitute!!
-yes!! but which one? Your mother, your sister or grandma?

Saw a picture of Wayne Rooney's kid in The Daily Mail today. Anyone else think he looked a bit like John Terry?

So, without much cajoling he manages to bring the kid to the States, aways from the dangers of Bosnia and teaches him the great game of football.


Handegg or football?

I think you mean handegg

A guy was driving down a motorway in England with his blonde girlfriend and she piped up,

"I think those people in the car next to us are from Wales".
"Why do you think that ?" he said.

"Well, the kids are writing on the window and it says

"stit ruoy su wohs".

:D

lol, nice one :)

I CAN TRANSLATE THAT!!!

In English, it's:
"Please my dear lady, would you display your breasts for us to see"

haha :D

i think its just 'show us your tits'.... urs is too 'official'

Did they ban imported sarcasm in Lithuania? ;)

only the cheap one

FIFA 12 is rumoured to have a new difficulty level, entitled "Torres mode", where it is virtually impossible to score.