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Onderwerp: »[NON-NT]Nanook

2009-08-19 21:43:28
he'll get votes if he runs.
2009-08-19 22:02:50
Should this be renamed "[NT:Non-NT]", now that I have made my name officially a part of the voting process, to allow people to not vote for me with reckless abandon?

"Hands, touching hands, reaching out, touching me, TOUCHING YOUUUUUUUUUU!"
2009-08-19 22:30:07
It´s shame I can`t non-vote for you. I really would like to:/

But is there any way I could non-support you? Please, do let me know.
(gewijzigd)
2009-08-19 23:08:56
youre a complete failure if you win, but its possible, because i won last time and all my campaign consisted of was a copy and paste of my favorite foreign speech
(gewijzigd)
2009-08-20 00:23:15
Now that you are an official Candidate, i need you to stop writing in other candidate Threads and stop to bump your thread.
2009-08-20 00:27:21
and i can't allow the "non NT" name in the Thread as well....
2009-08-20 00:28:20
Bericht verwijderd

2009-08-20 00:34:01
This become an official candidate Thread, and as long as you are in as well, you are not allow to write in here as well
2009-08-20 00:35:13
okey. But I'm not "in" anymore :D
2009-08-20 18:20:04
boo this man!

Now, we actually have to ask the non-candidate jonandabby why he would be worst to run the NT.

I will start.

Your "14 Commandments" for running the NT team are fantastic. Could you give some more nuggets of wisdom for how you would mismanage the NT team? Maybe make it an even 19 Commandments?
2009-08-20 18:50:25
I do not believe that the US user community (currently at a purge-worthy 495) is prepared to accept the munificence I would be displaying if I shared 6 pulchritudinous manifestos all at once. I would be concerned that many of the newbies, staggered by my complete lack of wisdom, would be so energized by their superior strategerability that they would stagger blindly out into the streets in a daze, and would be run over by my far more worthy opponent Phil_Fox85, who is on the way to a NT coach campaign rally. I will therefore share my ideas (why stop at 19) one at a time.

15) Locker facilties. We need better ones, and need to get more aggressive when we go to visitors stadiums and see inappropriate facilities.

First of all, our Euro-trash competition have bidets. Those are odd and very confusing. I have seen them, and get upset every time I am near them. I mean, turn on a fawcett to shoot UP at your butt? No wonder Europeans are so odd. We shouldn't have them, and should have our supporters admitted to any locker room that does in order to destroy them immediately.

My #5 platform plank requires good hygiene. I did not specify in #5 what form that would take, beyond mandating showers and deodorant. I shall elucidate further now.

a) Toothpaste should be used before every game and every half. Cavities can be distracting. However, we will be a "green" team so everyone will brush with branches coated with homemade toothpaste (baking soda, salt, hydrogen peroxide, peppermint oil and stevia). After using said concoction, we'll likely be sick, and then we can vomit all over our opponents WHILE HAVING GOOD TEETH. Excellent.

b) Poops should be made in bags, and we should make frequent use of the roman vomitoriums I'll have installed next to the toilets. We can bag the combined refuse (vomoop or poomit - I'm not sure what to call it) into bags to give out to our rabid singing (see above) fans. They can then throw the bags at the best players of the other team (preferably while singing disco - everyone loves disco). Given some of the geographic sources of our NT opponents, hanging out in poop may not be so upsetting to them, but getting clobbered by bags of fecal matter floating in vomit should at least distract them.

c) Our team locker room will need to turkish baths. We can invite the more winsome US NT fans in to join the squad. We may not win (actually, given my ineptitude we certainly will NOT win), but at least we'll have fun after the game.
2009-08-20 18:52:15
i like bidets for many reasons ;)
2009-08-20 18:56:45
ew. ew. ew.

watching the south park episode last night with the boys being disqualified from the little league world series reminded me of your NT candidacy, jon.
2009-08-21 19:17:35
dude, I had voted for you for your Non NT campaign!!
2009-08-21 19:42:51
I withdrew. It is more fun to randomly post stuff, and share the fruits of my non-wisdom wherever I like. Dio is no fun - he kept deleting stuff.

16) All players must wear two left shoes. There are several reasons:

a) Nothing "right" is allowed to have any affiliation with the team. No intelligent person likes anything "right" (e.g. Rush Limbaugh), so in order to avoid the appearance of blowhard idoicy, we need to stay "left."

b) My theory here is similar to #10 (Gonad Pressure) above. See, if the players are wearing uncomfortable shoes, they'll be pissed off. I'll cut them a deal - if they get a 3 goal lead, I'll let them be subbed out for bench players. Once they sit down, they can take off the mismatched extra left shoe and rest their little tootsies. The added incentive will provide a performance boost that will surely propel us to victory (unless I otherwise manage to mess it up).
2009-12-08 03:12:21
Based on the complete lack of support for my amazing non-candidacy in the past, I have determined that once again I shall not run for the NT. I shall be posting my platform ideas hither and yon in the next week or so, until the USA users mistakenly choose someone else other than me not to run the NT.